What keeps me awake at 2 a.m.

I allowed my Jiva to react to a situation where if clarity was expressed instead of a knee-jerk reaction born out of emotion the consequences of that interaction may perhaps have been fruitful instead of hurt feelings that were purely unintentional.  For that I am sorry.

It’s important to build a support system around you of perhaps not totally like-minded people but people, who, after careful vetting, you know will carry you, laugh with you, play with you, share life’s ups and downs with you, and have walked through the fire that you are walking now.  It is those same people in your support system that also are not afraid to hold a mirror in front of you and tell you like it really is.   It may be harsh, it may be down right uncalled for but it’s raw, real, and necessary.  Would you rather be surrounded by people who sugar coat everything and tip toe around catering to your every whim just to avoid you not seeing what is right in front of you?  Your support system provides understanding, realness, and most importantly unconditional love.  One cannot be responsible nor made to carry sins of others.  One cannot be faulted for another’s wrong doing.  One CAN take that action and make it into something that is not only beneficial for their own healing but with an open mind, heart, and arms, uses it as a learning tool.  The best revenge is one where you flip off the universe letting it know, you lost, I am not broken, I will not be broken nor will you make me feel inferior again.

It is also that same support that knows that change is often needed, change is uncomfortable and it’s supposed to be.  Change is growth, understanding one’s faults, owning those faults, and working towards a better quality of life.  You will get curve balls thrown at you and it’s life’s way of testing to see how well you react.  Do you just sit there and take it or do you get mad and do something about it!  Sitting around complaining that you don’t like something is or how things are going is not productive.  If you don’t like it, CHANGE IT, if you don’t know how, ASK, if you need help, ASK, if resources are limited, expand your search-get creative.  Waiting for others to wave their magic wand and hoping to make everything better is only making those old habits, thoughts, feelings, and actions fester.  There is nothing more humbling then realizing when you are depleted and need a gentle push in the right direction and there is nothing wrong with admitting when you are lost and need help.

            “Out of muddy waters comes the Lotus”-Shunyaji

My teacher said this in a lecture last week.  I understand this to mean, in order to blossom into a beautiful loving human being we have to go through a lot of crap. And believe you me, I've been through some raw, stinky, sticky crap and I don't even see the surface of the pond yet.   We, as humans, can only take responsibility for our own words, thoughts, feelings and actions as long as the intention is pure and unadulterated.  We, as humans, have a responsibility to ask when we don't understand those words, thoughts, feelings and actions of others.  We can be responsible how we react to others but cannot be responsible for how others react to us.  Misunderstandings are a fact of life.  It’s our duty to mindfully and humanely ask for clarity when something is not understood.  I bet you 99% of the time if you ASK someone what they meant by a thought, feeling, or action, you would get an answer.  It may not be an answer you agree with and that is where discourse can be exchanged but you at least have an answer and knee jerk reactions are avoided.  It’s those times that we don’t ask that our Jiva’s take this as an opportunity to run amuck and cause unnecessary angst.  It is your responsibility to reign in the Jiva in us and have it sit in the naughty corner while you embody gracefulness, tact, and humility.

This Whimpy Pallav’s Jiva has been redirected to the naughty corner indefinitely.