Small Victories

Well, this Whimpy Pallav is slowly but surely making her way to be a non-Whimpy Pallav.  I did something this week that was scary yet necessary.  I feel good about my decision and know that in the long run this will be beneficial for not just my going forward with my learning and seeking but my body and soul.  I can already feel the tension lifting and my authentic self is starting to emerge.   

I've always known i needed to take charge of the situation.  One of my favorite sayings is "best you make changes before changes are made for you".  No one has the right to make you feel small and un-important.  After several attempts to voice my concerns and them being dismissed and construed as complaining it occurred to me....I'm not really complaining to them; I'm complaining to myself and the reason why nothing is being done is because I am not making the effort to change.  Well readers of this Pallavian....I've done it.  I've taken control of the situation.  I don't know what took me so long. I'm usually on top of other aspects of my life but for some reason when it came to this one area and I coward in the corner waiting for the ever so coveted approval that frankly was never going to come.  I'm getting to know myself on a deeper level and in these lessons I've learned that I'm so much more than a carbon based walking blob. 

On Thursday nights my teacher holds Satsangs, these are short 1 hour spiritual lessons to ease the mind and feed the soul.  I find that I struggle with a lot that life throws at me and when I hear her teachings I try to apply them to my own life and how I can better myself.  Last week her lecture was about the seven levels of relationships, based on the seven chakras, and letting things pass as they will.  Whatever happens happens and there is no point in getting worked up over it. 

Brahm Satyam Jagana Mithyā

(Decommission your Jiva mind)

One layer am struggling with was the student/student relationship or in my case coworker/coworker relationship.  This is the third chakra which is located in the upper stomach area.  This hold anger, desire, conflict.   So for me I interpret this to mean that this is the make or brake in a professional career and how we perceive each other is how things happen.  Whether it be an act of working as a team or sabotaging one person to benefit yourself.  To me this seems contradictory since i consider (others may disagree) that I am fairly easy to work with and can manage to get along with everyone.  But looking back I think the only person i was sabotaging was myself.  There are those few that just push my buttons and i think the reason why is they are showing me aspects of myself that I may not (or I do and don't want to) see and forcing me to deal with those aspects.

I decommissioned my SOB of a Jiva and you know what, the heavens opened up and brought to me the answer that I've been seeking to the question of : I know where I want to go I just don't know what to do to get there.  I think the crux of my struggle was that deep down I knew my life path was no longer the current path I was walking.  My beliefs and experiences for finding peace of mind body and soul is changing and with that are my desires to share and spread that you don't have to be miserable, suffering or unloved.    

So dear Pallavian readers, this Whimpy Pallav did something brave.  She surrendered to the universe, gave her notice and knows that everything will be o.k.

The Nine Pound Bully

It saddens me that someone feels so low so beaten so emotionally scarred that in order to survive feels that making another human being feel just as low, beaten or emotionally scarred will aid in their own healing.  Well, it doesn't.  You just look like a fool.  As a former recipient of those aforementioned bullies when I see another human or animal being bullied it effects me to the core. From the tender age of 10 to just out of high school I was bullied and I didn't really do anything wrong, people just felt that it was o.k. to treat me that way.  In high school I even contemplated moving to another county because i was un happy and dreaded going.  I remember one particular phone call i received it was just before graduation and somehow this person got my phone number.  I never talked to this person we had a few classes but i never really associated with her. She said she was calling to invite me to a school wide party and everyone would be there...i could hear laughter and snickering and one nasty comment about me in the background where upon I respectfully declined. What happened to this person that was so horrible that they had to be that mean spirited?  Another incident was at a school function where we had to pick teams. I remember one boy in particular looked at me and said "Eww" ; ummm excuse me, you don't even know me!   Yes, High School was not fun for me.  I left town the day I graduated and never looked back.  Why?  Because of the daily targeting for bullies.

This morning i came to the realization that there is a bully in my midst.  As I was getting out of bed and ready to start my day I am usually greeted by my sweet Lenore.  She usually sits quietly next to me or she was conducts her famous "drive bys".  She likes to start at the window, jump down from her perch, walk around the bed to the other side, jump on the bed and walk right across my chest back to the window. She does this five or six times until eventually I do get up to get her morning snackie cake. 

This morning Lenore was doing her morning rounds and in between she would sit quietly on the bedside table and wait.  She was minding her own business when her younger brother sprung out of nowhere and attacked her.  This wasn't your usual kitty playtime attack this was the act of a bully!  She jumped off the bed and started to walk out whereupon I heard a yowl and when i looked over Lenore was on the ground in defensive mode and Milo was standing over her.  It was clear Lenore wanted to be left alone yet Milo kept egging her on. 

I will not have this behavior in my house.  Milo was given a time out and Lenore was able to get her bearings.  After about 5 min in timeout Milo was given his breakfast.  I don't condone bullying.  It's hurtful, un necessary and brutal.  People are losing their loved ones because someone else cannot be civilized and feel that making someone else feel low and unimportant will somehow boost themselves up.  If bullying boosted your self esteem so much so that everyone is your friend and you are well liked then why are there only a few cowards that do it?

This is something that really shakes me to a core. This Whimpy Pallav will not stand for bullying especially in her own home and certainly not by members of her family (furry or otherwise).

Cancer

To offset the fact that i have no social life, probably never will, I have decided to delve myself even deeper into the knowledge of healing the mind, body and soul.  With this I attended a one day lecture on Ayruvedic practices and cancer prevention.  Having a father, grandfather, and stepfather all diagnosed with some form of cancer; the disease is not a new term or concept for me and i refuse to succumb to the assumption that I'm also a high risk candidate.  I'm really glad I went to this lecture.  Some of what was discussed was not new material for me, some was, and some, I was surprisingly and gratefully reassured that without my knowing I was already on the road to a cancer free life.

According to Ayruvedic principles the #1 cause for cancer is stress.  Living in a society of the gotta have it nows, my toy is bigger, badder, and has more trinkets as well as one belief being that success is defined by how much money you have can be taxing on one and interfere with what is more of a Sattvic lifestyle.

There was a lot shared but here are just a few take aways:

-In the sea of life Ayruveda shows us how to keep our heads above the waves and stay with the current by adjusting our thoughts, eating and physical being....in other words, the instructor prescribed us with a healthy dose of "Just keep swimming" (reminds me of a certain absent minded blue fish)

-Practicing yoga or meditation 45 min before you start your day and 45 min before you go to bed not only grounds you for the day but settles your monkey mind for a restful sleep

-Eating more seasonally appropriate foods and preferably vegetarian (but who am I kidding, I love a good steak now and then) accompanied with garnishes such as cilantro, methi (which is sanskrit for Fenugreek), and chutneys help digest your meal and clears out the pallet.

-With food Spices such as garlic, tumeric, cumin, asafetida (but just a pinch this stuff is potent!), Onion, cardamom, coriander and ginger all help in their own special way.

-Drinking warm water or herbal teas (green tea in particular) are good substitutes for the thirst. 

-Some after food spices are things like fennel, nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger.  You can also use some of the same spices noted for putting into your meal.

This Whimpy Pallav walked way with some nuggets of wisdom and a new regimen to her diet and lifestyle.  You better watch out because i will be carrying a supply of Cancer arsenal and you might just get a pultice full of tumeric shoved down your throat...


but I mean that in the most sattvic way